40 Days Without My “Stuff.” What I’ve Learned From Forced Minimalism

If you follow me on social media, you might have seen that I completed my cross-country move to my new duty location. You may have also seen that my household goods (most of them anyway) have not made their way to me yet. This has led me to live a life of unexpected, forced minimalism.

I was expecting to be without my stuff for 20 days. I prepared for that by keeping the things I’d need for those 20 days with me. Due to a series of events, the movers didn’t deliver my household goods on my Required Delivery Date. Then they left some of my stuff behind in DC, so now I’m having to track two different shipments. And the truck broke down. And for some reason, even though it took me (a person who doesn’t like driving more than 2 hours at a time) only 5 days to cross the country, the professional truck driver who supposedly has my shipment (the part that’s actually been picked up, anyway) has so far taken 11 days.

I’m posting this on the morning I’m “supposed” to get my delivery. By the time some of you have read it, I’ll either have my stuff…or not. It’s a mystery! I’m not holding my breath.

I’m just getting my first shipment today. The second shipment, the stuff they left behind, has no ETA. And I have absolutely no way of knowing what got left behind until I see what doesn’t show up in the first shipment.

Because of this mess, I’ve been living for 40 days with only what I could carry in my car, plus what I’ve bought since arriving. And I drive a small car. And I was bringing a large dog that needed his own room in the car. Needless to say, I wasn’t able to bring very much.

This means that I’ve been living a life of forced minimalism for about twice as long as expected, and I have learned some lessons about what I miss vs what I don’t really care about. I thought I’d share those thoughts with you today.

Think of it as frustration ventilation for now, and a plan for action when I eventually see the state of whatever gets delivered to me. Because who knows? Maybe I get delivered everything in pristine condition. Maybe I get a lot of broken items. Or maybe they are bringing me someone else’s stuff. Anything could happen!

(I know military families often have to go much longer without HHG, especially if moving overseas. I’m not trying to imply this is the worst possible moving story. This is just my story, and what I’m thinking about because of it)

What I Brought With Me

Like I said, I had to fit everything I was bringing from DC to here in a small car. That included me, my dog, his doggy bed and other accoutrements, and whatever else I could fit. Here’s what else I brought:

“Furniture”

• A blowup queen-sized mattress with blanket, bottom sheet, and one pillow
• A folding chair and tiny table

Technology

• My laptop (which is currently dead and needs to be sent to the manufacturer)
• A small TV and my router (which ended up not being compatible with the local internet service…of course!)

Household items

• My vacuum and deep cleaner, because carpets are never ever as clean as the landlord claims
• A broom and Swiffer mop
• All the cleaning supplies and other “dangerous chemicals” that the movers will not take
• Some really limited kitchen supplies – paper plates, plastic utensils, one small pot, one small pan, and a few things like a can opener and a whisk. Oh, and my toaster oven because the oven at my last place wasn’t good so I exclusively used the toaster oven
• A few limited food items

Clothing

• One each of my uniforms not including mess dress (black tie equivalent)
• Clothing: 4 t-shirts, 3 other shirts, 3 pairs of pants, 1 pair of pajamas, 2 sets of workout clothes, way too many socks and underwear (I don’t know why but I apparently thought I needed 25+ pairs of socks with me), and 3 pairs of shoes

Other

• My most important paperwork that I won’t allow movers to carry
• The rest of the little random stuff…my daily use toiletries, some pens and a pair of scissors, etc.

That’s it, that’s the sum total of what went with me. Everything else is in the possession of the movers for the time being.

Forced Minimalism Makes Me Tired

Partly this is literal, which we’ll get to when I talk about my bed. But here are some things I’m tired of.

Going to the laundromat to do laundry

This is a PITA. The ‘mat itself is nice, and the movers are paying for the laundry since they failed to deliver my household goods on time. But it’s a 10 minute drive each way, plus I have to sit there while my clothes are in the machines. In total it takes about 2 dedicated hours of my week, whereas if I had a washer and dryer at home it would just be a few minutes each for loading the washer, transferring to the dryer, and folding.

BTW, I’m sitting in the laundromat writing this. I figure I might as well make use of my time, right?

Not having a fully equipped kitchen

There is only so much you can do with limited kitchen supplies. I don’t need a ton of stuff (which we’ll get to) but there are some things that would make cooking a lot easier. I thought I was prepared, but really I was only prepared for making simple meals like fried eggs. I didn’t have large enough pots and pans to make full meals. This has led to me eating a lot of meals out and a lot of convenience products.

What I Desperately Miss And Want Immediately!

My bed

Oh God, I miss my bed. Or really any bed. But mostly my bed, which is f***ing fantastic. The air mattress was fine for a few weeks, but not for 6 weeks. My back was in so much pain that I started sleeping on the floor – no kidding! I eventually convinced the movers to pay for a twin-sized real mattress, which is better than nothing. But I forgot to ask them to pay for a box spring, and was only approved for the mattress and a cheap bedframe. Of course, if you put a mattress straight onto a bedframe and sit on it, you will fall through to the floor. So I’ve been sleeping on a mattress on the floor, next to the bedframe, for about a week now. 

This is real life.

A few more clothing options

Not a lot, but a little more variety would be nice. All of the t-shirts I kept with me are blue…all of them. It would be nice to have another option. I figure somewhere in the realm of 10-15 shirts is the right amount for me. 

I wear the same thing to work every single day. I need a little variety in my civilian clothes!

Some option for lounging

Usually this means my couch, but at this point it could be a lawn chair for all I care. I just don’t like having to sit upright all the time! I’ve taken to stretching out on the bare floor when I just can’t sit up any longer.

What I’ve Had The Movers Pay For

When the movers miss your required delivery date, they are responsible for paying for certain items. This is called an inconvenience claim. It’s not a bad program, per se. If I wanted to go buy some pots and pans, they will pay for that. 

The problem is, I don’t want more pots and pans! I have a really nice, complete set and don’t want extras. And they’ll pay for linens for your bed, but I already brought those too. Unfortunately the moving company doesn’t pay for much beyond pots and pans. Actual metal utensils? Nope. Plates and cups that aren’t paper or styrofoam? Nope.  

Here’s what I have purchased. Yes, I have to purchase it ahead of time and then request reimbursement.

Kitchen stuff

• A griddle (so I can cook something larger than 2 eggs at a time)
• Two sturdy plastic cups (these better be reimbursed even though they aren’t paper! They were cheaper than disposable cups and not nearly as wasteful)
• A single serving blender (for making smoothies, chopping nuts, mixing items for desserts, etc)
• A spatula and a couple other small items

I asked them to reimburse half of my groceries since I’m having to buy things like preshredded lettuce instead of using a cutting board and knife to do it myself (like I normally would) and the company said no. You see, if you are living in a hotel while waiting for your delivery, they pay for all of your food and the hotel. But if you moved into a home, like I did, they don’t pay for any of that! So even though I don’t have the right stuff to cook normal meals, they won’t pay for any of it.  All because I’m in an empty house instead of an expensive hotel.

Furniture

In addition to the mattress as described above, I was also told I could get a folding card table. Card tables have gone up in price since I last looked ($30+ for the table plus $15-$30 per chair!) so instead I bought this picnic table with built in chairs. I’m not using the umbrella indoors, lol.

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Please note: I don’t actually want any of the stuff the movers are having to pay for. I’d rather they just gave me my own stuff. But failing that, I’ve now accumulated a bed and a table I didn’t have a plan for. So…I need to figure out what I’m going to do with them.

Will This Forced Minimalism Change Anything?

This is kind of the crux of this post. Now that I’ve lived without my stuff for longer than I expected, what’s changed?

Well, along the lines of downsizing (which I’ve been doing for a few years now) I plan to get rid of some of my stuff when it finally arrives. How do I plan to accomplish this? By not letting it in the house, for the most part.

I intend to have the movers bring in my furniture, washer/dryer, and only those boxes that are marked “kitchen” or “bedroom.” The furniture and washer/dryer will be put in place, and the kitchen and bedroom boxes will go in my spare bedroom. Everything else will be left in the garage.

The idea is, I will open each box one at a time and only bring things into the house once I’ve consciously decided to keep it. Everything else will go into the back of my car, and once it’s full – straight to Goodwill!

Why am I bringing the kitchen and bedroom boxes into the house? Well, somewhere in the kitchen boxes is some foods, like expensive flours (coconut flour, almond flour, etc). I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to toss them at this point (40 days in storage!!), but I don’t want to leave them in the hot garage, nor do I want bugs to get into them. 

The bedroom boxes mostly contain clothes, so I want to go through those things first and start purging my closet. After that, I can move onto the rest of the boxes, which mostly contain items I only use occasionally like seasonal and outdoor gear.

What I’m Okay Without

As I said, I would like a few more clothing options. But I know I have way more than what I need. I probably have twice as many shirts as I would regularly wear. And I know I have about a dozen sets of pajamas because for some reason I went through a 3-4 year period where it seemed like everybody was buying me pajamas for Christmas.

My books. Oh goodness. I love reading, and I used to buy at least one book every single time I went into a bookstore. At one point I had nearly 1000 books. I stopped buying them years ago (with rare exceptions) and I have gotten down to probably about 80-100 books, but I literally can’t remember the last time I read a book I owned in hard copy. Library books – always. Kindle books – frequently. But not books I own. So I’ll be looking through this with a stern eye, too.

I love to cook and I’m not shabby at it, so I’ve accumulated a lot of kitchen items over the years. Some of them I use daily, so I will obviously keep all of that. But there are some things I rarely if ever use, like my waffle maker. If I want a waffle, that is easy enough to buy or I can borrow a waffle maker. I don’t need a waffle maker when I only use it once a year or so.

I also have a lot of seasonal and outdoor gear that I need to go through. When I use it, I love it. But I don’t use these things very often. For instance, I have a very nice waterproof picnic blanket…but 99% of the time, I’m sitting at picnic tables. Do I really need a separate blanket for that?

My End Goal

Ideally, I will get down to a point where I only have things that are either used regularly, or are used rarely but would save money by keeping (like my air mattress). In a perfect world, I actually unpack and put/give away every single item in every single box. I’ve been through a lot of military moves. Nine total and eight partial moves since June 2004, to be exact. I haven’t had every box unpacked since maybe move #3, so it’s time to get rid of all that stuff I clearly don’t need but have been hauling around for the last decade plus.

And then, of course (looking at the personal finance tie-in way at the end here) I want to learn to buy less stuff. I’ve been better at this over the years, but I was still clinging to things I don’t need. All that stuff we all have comes at a cost. There’s the purchase cost, of course. But there is also the cost of needing to provide space for all of the stuff (larger houses = larger cost). There is the cost of moving it, if you move (military!). And there is the mental cost of taking care of it. Plus there may the cost of maintaining it, and maybe even cleaning it if you have a cleaning service.

Imagine if you didn’t have to deal with all of that anymore. Some people like and value stuff, so maybe to them it wouldn’t be a good thing. But I am a not a “stuff” person. This is a problem in my family, actually, as my mother very much likes to give “stuff” for presents. But I don’t want all this stuff. I would very, very happily move into a tiny house or even a small RV if I could. Until then…just less stuff.

Delivery Day Update

I’m waiting for the movers to arrive so I thought I’d sneak in a quick last note. Right now my stuff is here, but the actually movers are not. What’s gonna happen???

Have you ever gone through a major downsizing? What prompted it? How do you feel now that you’ve done it/are doing it?